9 years

9 years this month since we graduated high school. Looking back, it seems like just yesterday, but at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. Have I changed inside? Not really. Am I where I thought I’d be? Not really. It’s funny how life twists us and turns us, and that linear path we had planned often doesn’t work out. My memories aren’t as crisp as they were, time has softened the edges and blurred the colors. What I have left are fragments and the pieces that stand out the most.

I remember how each of those 50 minute periods felt like they stretched out for 10 hours. How thankful we would be when those chimes signalled our release from a mathematical or literary torture. One of my favourite memories is when we would all pack up our lockers on the last day of school, and the boys down the hallway would be blasting “School’s Out for the Summer,” on a portable CD player. How the summers would stretch out ahead of me: the possibilties were endless, and those hot summer days seemed like they would never come to an end. But no matter how much I enjoyed my summer, I would always have a spark of excitement about returning to school and seeing friends I hadn’t seen in months, finding out which teachers I would have, and getting back to the familiar structure of a school day.

Looking back, I have fond memories of many of my high school teachers. They were an eccentric lot, and although one sometimes doubted their sanity, for the most part, I don’t question their dedication. I remember that first summer after I graduated high school, feeling lost and sad that I wouldn’t be returning in the fall. Compared to the ecstatic sense of freedom most of my friends were experiencing, I wondered why I was so sad about this ‘ending.’ But the truth is that once you leave those doors, the world is never quite as safe or as sheltered. A big adventure, but at the same time, a scary one, that carries with it a sense of loss of community and the realization that you are really just a small fish in a large pond.



2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Thank you so much for your kind comment. I’m doing much better now. Sometimes it takes a while to get things in focus. I know what you mean about the small fish in a big pond thing. It was hard for me to adjust to college after high school. All I could do is look around and say to myself, “this is way to big- I’m never going to find my place here.”

  2. 2

    Karla said,

    Your words remind me of how I felt upon graduating highschool and entering the college world. I remember going from being a highschool senior to a college freshman and the reversal of positions that that entailed. It felt like starting over in the ladder of maturity, yet with more foundation behind me than when I was a highschool freshman. The important thing is the more we learn the more we realize how much more we need to learn. Life after highschool has more freedom, but with that comes greater responsibility to handle that freedom as an adult. It’s a wonderful process despite the ups and downs of life.

    You write very well. Keep up the good work.

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