Thoughts on dying

I like it when it rains at night. The upside of a dreary summer is crisp nights where the rain falls, cleansing and soothing, outside my window while I am safe in my bed. I like to think that the sky is singing me a lullaby, softly brushing my tears away with its healing downfall. In those moments, I feel truly in touch with the Earth. No matter how despairing I am and how completely alone I feel, the rain still falls. It is comforting and grounding. In spite of my pain, the world is alive.

Spending time with someone who is dying makes everything seem surreal. I watch him struggle to live through one more hour, one more day, just so he can live his final moments out of the hospital. Suddenly things that were so ordinary become sacred. Precious moments to watch one more sunrise or to hear a child laugh. The things we take for granted become gifts to savor.

He was always there, and just like that, he’ll be gone. He will not be there to see me graduate from university or to meet my children. It’s so strange the way life works. It seems as though we have so much power through medicine, technology, science these days. But still, we can’t stop death. It’s sobering and in a terrible way, somewhat comforting. He will die soon. But the world will still turn, and I will still lie in bed at night and listen to the rain fall.


4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Amanda said,

    Beautiful. Thank you, Manda.

  2. 2

    This brings back so many memories.
    It’s as if time slows down, but yet it’s so inexorable.
    Thinking of you both.

  3. 3

    Ben said,

    You write well, and you are wise.

  4. 4

    kiwiofknowledge said,

    Thanks… Well, I don’t know about wise!

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